Currently, at the age of 34, my ‘caring about what everyone else thinks about me’ is finally busted. All the worrying, the insecurity, the inconfidence, the fear, the tiny lies that I once let consume me well, those things are just not me anymore. Once upon a time I was a woman who sat fearful, crippled by my insecurities and only tiptoeing into the call that God had upon my life. Then Gideon came, and God used that little baby to change me from the inside out.
I’ve always been a writer. Since my middle school English classes I have always loved the art of words and the challenge of painting a beautiful tapestry made up of thoughts and ideas. But it wasn’t until I became a Christ follower in college that I began to pray. Before every single time I put pen to paper I talk to my Heavenly Father and I pray that His purposes would be on my lips and that His words would speak through my own. I write because I am most alive when I do.
In March of 2014 I lost my son. My fourth child I gave up to adoption to the King. It was hard. Pain resonated out of places I had never known existed, yet God worked out of me something beautiful. Something powerful that can only come out of His loving and refining fire. I say, ‘my give a damn is busted’ because I no longer sit still waiting for life to worry away. No! I know the pain of deep loss and I know that this day is not that day. Instead of waiting for more hard life to come, I want to spend my joyful days doing something, writing something that will minister to another wayward and wandering believer in Christ.
I currently write weekly on my blog True Worth and I take any opportunity I can get to teach and speak. I head up the Women’s Ministry at Lake Forest Church in Huntersville, North Carolina (www.lakeforest.org) and mentoring women is one of my favorite things to do. My previous book is titled Your Daughter Needs a Hero and has counseled countless parents in their quest to help their daughter in the area of insecurity and poor body image. Here is what readers have said about it:
Bea: “This book is so well done. I think, no I know I forgot how very hard it can be to be a young girl. Our girls are faced with so much pressure. This book gave me so many insights to how my girls are feeling and tools I can use to support them and love them as the gifts from God that they are! The book is a treasure.”
Stacie: “Read this if you were a teenager or have one in your life!”
Julia: “I found myself turning page after page gaining new understanding into the challenges young women are faced with in today’s society. I love how this book challenged me as a woman to first look at my heart and take inventory where I have fallen into valuing what the world considers beautiful more than what God does.”
But in all of these things, I have not even told you the best part. I am a mother to five beautiful children. Gifts from God sent down from Heaven straight into this Momma’s aching arms. Faith is 9, David is 7, Aaron is 5, Gideon is our Heavenly baby, and Samuel is 1 year. My husband and I have been married for 12 years and no one cheers me on and supports me like he does.
I am me, and I am finally able to get excited about the fact that I’m the only one that can do it. I stumble and fall, and I am most assuredly always tempted to weasel back into my old insecure and fearful shell. But I won’t. I won’t not because of anything I am or am not good at, no. The reason I won’t do it is because I have seen God’s goodness in the land of the living. I have seen His powerful hand intervene in my life and I saw that He is good, He is trustworthy, He is sovereign, and what He wants for me is peace. So in His peace I live, and in His peace I will continue to write.