I am terrible at grammar and, in fact, even worse at spelling. (in the first writing of this sentence I even spelled “grammer” wrong). I don’t know what to say. Its half embarrassing and half ridiculous. Either way, “I yam who I yam.”
Every once in a while, this teeny trait of mine comes back to bite me in unpredictable ways. Especially when I am praying or just speaking from my heart, wrong words show up in the wrong places.
So, there I was. I was having some moments with God and pouring out onto him all my “I am a terrible Mom, wife, and home keeper can you fix me?” woes and whining. I am sure he totally loves it when I do that. Anyhow, it was just one of those weeks, nothing I did seemed like the right choice. Time and time again my ugly was coming out in the never ending mothering question: do I busy every minute making sure all the “responsibilities” are well taken care of or do I calm myself down to play and be present (knowing full well some of the “responsibilities” will go unmet)?
What is a woman to do?? If you know the answer please do tell me!
So this is what I heard God whispering to me and so comes the word choice irony:
“Let the little things lie.”
I stared at that sentence for a long time, for I could tell that “lie” was not the right word choice but for the love I could not figure out what to replace it with. So there it stayed.
This sentence became the mantra for my week and the never ending utterance on my lips.
Sammy piled up every single book to read in the entire play room, 150 to be exact. “Maria, let the little things lie.”
David wanted to play football with me while I was right in the middle of folding the laundry. “Maria, let the little things lie.”
Faith wanted me to snuggle her in bed when Dave and I were just about to sit down for the first time all day. “Maria, let the little things lie.”
Aaron wanted to play the new board game we got right in the middle of the Patriots game. “Aaron, give me one hour and then I will play with you!” (Sorry, that time I failed).
As the week flowed on my word choice started to get at me, could it be that the little things do in fact LIE. I think it might be so.
My “to-do” list and my “should-do” list and my “you know you like the house better when it is tidy” list allures me and lies to me on a daily basis. I am tempted to believe if I just finish this one more thing, or just put that one more thing away then surely peace will be restored. In the meantime the hamster wheel has me all twisted up and stressed and the burden of being everything to everyone has sucked the joy out of who I want to be.
I am taken aback today, saddened, and grieving over the shooting in Las Vegas. My heart is torn in two at the thought of the terror and the fear and the pain that so many are experiencing today. There is no fact, today the little things lay right where they are. Unkempt and unattended because the real important things in life need tending to. It is a sad day for me when I get so distracted by the mess that I no longer see the truth, that these days we are living are for one thing and one thing only:
John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
So when you come into my home or my life and things are a hot mess, know I can still love you well! And when my grammar is wonky and my spelling is all off, just know its because my heart cry is not clean or put together, its just is.
I end by sharing with you these pictures. I was looking through my phone and was gifted with the opportunity to see life through my children’s eyes. They took all these pictures and my daughter Faith used an app on my phone to put the WordArt on herself.
Here’s to not letting the little things lie to us and to letting them lay right where they are.