No I am not pregnant, just wanted to get that out of the way right from the onset! No baby this time. Why do people keep asking me that? Just sayin.
I really hardly have words today, as I sit here and share with you I am simply in awe of the news I am about to share.
Yesterday I finally heard back from Revell Publishing, and they made me an offer to publish my book!! I am so grateful for everyone that has been praying for me and for thinking of me through this process and I couldn’t wait to let you know the good news!!
The working title is Peace for the Troubled Heart and the due date for my full manuscript submission is July 1st 2017. My heart is so full with gratefulness and joy and I sit here in awe of all that God has done over these past few years.
As I type I am sitting in the exact Panera booth I used to come and sit in when I was pregnant with Gideon. In this exact seat I would cry and write and pray wondering what it was going to be like to have him and love him and then lose him. In this exact seat I would touch my belly and pray for God to make the minutes crawl and speed up all at the same time. I would sit and look around at all the “happy people” and wonder if I would ever be like them again. This morning, as I sat and prayed once more, I just praised God and over and over and over again that He is honoring Gideon’s life in this way. For the book I will not write was formed in the forge of being Gideon’s Mommy. It was through his little life and death that a new book rose up in me.
Last night I was honored to go speak to a community group that is working through the Peace for the Troubled Heart material. I shared with them that when I sat down to write the chapter outlines I simply opened up the prayer journal from when I was pregnant with Gideon and simply wrote down all God had taught me during that time. Very truly, I wrote down how I survived. I wrote down the passages of Scripture that saved my life and I wrote down all the many ways that God’s Holy Spirit came through for me. My prayer was always this: that God might use what I lived through to help someone else battle their own fear filled places.
So here we go. Its happening, its really happening and I am like a little girl in a candy store. Literally. I have jumped up and down one million times.
Of course (as always because I am and always will be a crazy person) fears are tempting to flood my brain:
What if I over night become a terrible writer?
What if my suckiness at all things social media finally catches up to me?
What if I fail?
What if I forget to write my book?
Those are for real. I wish I was kidding.
Then, like He always graciously does, God speaks to me in my mess. He sounds like this:
“Maria! Have I not told you that this is my show? Have I not proven to you that there is nothing you can do to ruin the plans that I have for you? Have I failed you, ever? Have I not showed you over and over again that it is in and through your weaknesses that I like to work the most? That through your in-capabilities that I am most glorified. Settle yourself and do what I have taught you to do. Pray. Seek me. And take one single step at a time.”
So my one single step for today is celebrating with YOU! I have been terribly absent lately, writing and leading in other places other than online is where my focuses have been, but I am still here! AND as I praise God for this road I have found myself on I remember gleefully that your presence throughout this entire process is really a big reason why I have stayed encouraged to write.
Not a word you have spoken to me has gone unnoticed and you continually inspire me to stay confident in what God has called me to. I feel encouraged through you and I never feel like I am walking this journey alone.
So will you celebrate with me today?? It looks like jumping up and down alternately with rocking in fetal position in the corner. Then eat a cupcake.