And then the day comes, when you are sitting on the water, waves gentle rolling, the sun giving you just the right amount of warmth and you realize, “God planned this all from the start didn’t He? He planned it just this way.”
And He did a good job.
Two years ago, wait…has it already been two years? Seems like forever ago and yesterday all at the same time, but over two years it has been since Gideon passed away. Over two years ago and I am still changed, his face still makes me laugh and cry at the same time, newborn babies still have hold of my heart, and all that God taught our family during that time remains strong and reliable.
Tomorrow its time that I keep sharing our story, with the hopes that maybe just maybe, God can use Gideon in the lives of others the way God used him in our lives.
Today I sit praying and preparing and honestly a part of me wanted to just keep it all to myself. I can just quietly show up at church tomorrow, gently sit next to our pastor for two services, and bravely share Gideon’s story and our story from living in fear to faith.
Surely nobody needs to know.
Surely maybe even the people who come to church on Sunday won’t even notice I am there on stage.
Well anyway these are the things I tell myself to help my nerves stay calm. But then today, it became so evident to me that a lot of what I prayed for during Gideon’s life is gently coming true. I prayed so hard that God would use Gideon, that the pain and the lessons and the fear and the miracles would be used for God’s great good. I wanted a vivid reminder, so I watched Gideon’s birthday video again. Oh how I love that video!
To me that video is living proof that heaven is real, and as I was watching it I remembered that it is not just my story. It is also the story of every single person who walked along side of us, every friend and family member who held him, and every life made new because Gideon helped make us braver.
Nope. Its not right that I sit on it and keep all that God is doing all to myself.
So here it is. Tomorrow at Lake Forest Church Huntersville, NC I will be teaching with our Pastor Mike Moses. Together we will be addressing the very real fear of loss and death and how we can turn to God to FearLESS in our lives.
The 10:30 service is live streamed so you can feel free to watch it here if you would like:
It is quite comical actually, getting up and speaking on fear. Cause what if I mess up? What if I have toilet paper on my pants? What if I cry and can’t stop? What if my brain malfunctions and I forget everything I was going to say and instead I start saying something completely unrelated and Mike looks at me and needs to remove me from the premise and asks me to never return to Lake Forest Church or Huntersville or North Carolina ever again???
I’m teaching on fear.
Hmmm, this is a quandary isn’t it?
Okay instead I will tell my brain what I always tell it when it goes all delinquent on me:
God has never failed you. He is not going to start now.
God has given you peace, do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid.
You tattooed this on your body, therefore, it must be true.
So it is with joy that I share this with you. It is with joy that I share with you that God has things planned for His children, good things. Out of His great love and mercy He does not waste our pain.
Love you friends, see you tomorrow 😉