I keep on telling myself, “It’s your story. If you don’t tell it, who will?”
Or, even better, “It’s God’s Gideon story. If you don’t tell it, who will?”
The self talk goes on, “You can do this! Because God can do it, you can do it with Him! Just be strong and confident.”
Strong and confident. Strong and confident.
Sounds a little weird, now that I say it outloud. I feel like we are generally used to condemning people who are cocky and feeling sad for people who are insecure, but it’s not often we come in contact with sincere strength and confidence. If I am being honest I think I always shied away from being either because I was afraid of coming off as self-centered or prideful. Insecure about being confident…isn’t that a kicker.
This week, however I feel God calling me there. That moving forward, if I am going to do this, I need to be confident in what I am doing. Always confident in God and allowing myself too the confidence that He created me for this. Confident that He has got this and He has never let me down yet.
Then…there came more…
“She is clothed with strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come.” Proverbs 31:25
Dignity? Strength and dignity? I think as a woman there is no greater goal. No greater desire. Far more important than house size, dress size, or hair size. These are the things that I want dwelling on my heart, beating through my head and coming out in every action and instance I pursue. But man, way easier said than done.
I mean, do you know the exact definition of “dignity?” I ask because I actually didn’t until right now. Here it is:
Dignity: the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed (according to Merriam-Webster of course)
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn’t know about all that! Strength and dignity sound like nice ideas, reasonable ones for me to pursue. But being worthy? Being honored? Esteemed? Nope. Not so much for this “always tempted to dive back into a life lived in insecurity and fear but won’t because I trust God too much” woman that I am.
I just don’t know. I guess that’s just it, I don’t have to know.
I guess I don’t need to be able to wrap my brain around any of it. I guess I just need to to do it. Move forward. One step at a time. One word at a time. One day at a time.
“…she can laugh at the days to come…”
I don’t think she is laughing because something is funny. I think she is laughing because she is full of joy. A true picture of the woman I want to be, the kind of woman I want my daughter to be, the kind of woman that I pray for all whom I love to be.
Full of Joy.
Yes, all these things.
My family took a weekend trip to the mountains this past weekend, a trip we take annually with my sister in law, brother in law and two nephews. It’s an amazing time and our families look forward to it greatly. Faith was a little downtrodden at one point, a simple case “disappointment over slow snow tubing conditions” (yes, apparently that is a thing). As a pick me upper her and I ventured into the woods for a rock climbing adventure.
Let me preface this by saying, that from a Mommy perspective there were dangers galore. Slippery moss covered rocks, fallen trees with an entirely too high fall, and all of the way too many unseen critters that I was sure were going to launch out at any moment. From a Mommy perspective, my brain was being both weak and undignified.
But from a woman to woman perspective. From a grown lady understanding the sting of disappointment to the young lady accompanying her…from that perspective we became strong, confident and powerful mountain conquerors! Up huge rocks we went, over fallen logs, through prickers, down hills. We were strong, and it felt great. Faith carried no fear or doubt whatsoever. Her body is strong and she knows it. Her body is capable, God made her that way and her movements portrayed her confidence. Disappointment, cured. Turns out a little dose of confidence goes a long way.
So here is to you. You whom God has created to do amazing things. Things only you can do. Today I pray for us all, for strength, for dignity, for full of joy laughter.