The phrase has been spinning around over and over again in my head over these past few days. little gods. Like I am piling them up, little by little, moment by moment…distracted away by little gods.
Honestly, the phrase first popped in my head while thinking of my greatest blessings…my children. They are, in fact blessings and not a day passes by where I don’t worship God in thanks that He has chosen me to be the mother of such amazing children. Blessings not gods. And while those blessings are little in stature (not in importance) I realized that sometimes, all things considered, I pile up those little blessings and make them little gods. little places where my heart gives divine attention only designed to be given to the One True God.
Its an expenditure we all have. God created our hearts for the divine and without being careful it can be misplaced. Misplaced onto even the most precious of precious that this world has to offer.
This truth was galvanized into me when I was pregnant with Gideon and then mourning over him. Gideon, the most sweetest frame of a baby. The personification of innocence and sweetness. In my love and tears, tears and love I found myself at times worshipping him. Wrapping my all into him. Defining myself by him. Clinging to him. And gently, so so very gently God would whisper, “Sweet daughter that love is for me, direct it back onto me and then your love for Gideon will become even greater.” little gods.
Our deepest treasures, our greatest loves, our family, our days, our events…they cannot be trusted with the divine love we have been created for. I am tempted every single day to hand it out elsewhere. It’s a sneaky temptation because love deeply we shall. But as soon as, even for one second, I place something above, higher, greater, deeper than the love I have for my Heavenly Father…then you have it…little gods.
Last week my little gods came in all shapes and sizes.
Throw pillows I had to have from Ikea right. now. couldn’t. wait. one. single. more. day.
Pockets of time that I chose to jam pack full with randomness instead of letting myself be still.
Worrying over ailments of all types. Ingrown toenails, cavities, flattened heads, poop color, head contusions all stole my time with worry.
Fashionism (totally not a word but I just made it one).
All piled up so so high leaving me worshipping at random and haphazardly lots of little things. Meanwhile I picture God raising His hand and jumping up high going, “Um, I know you can’t see me anymore but I’m still here. Actually if you would knock these things down I will help you tackle them one by one. I want to help you through this life but I can’t help you if you can’t see me.”
But truthfully, I think sometimes I love my little gods. I think when I knock them down to focus solely on God it leaves me feeling naked and vulnerable. Alas, that’s often where I find my true worship.
Our pastor this week spoke about serving out of fullness. That because we have Christ we are already full in Him, not needing anything from husband, children, family, friends and that in that fullness we can more purposeful serve those exact people. That is my prayer for this week. That I would no longer allow little gods to give me the illusion that something in me still needs filling. I am full to the brim, dear Jesus may that fullness be brought out in love towards the very things I feign into gods. May my capacity for pouring out be unlimited. May I remember to treat little gods like little blessings instead and may I save my true worship for you. May your goodness be always on the forefront of my mind. I pray for this miracle for now, for me, for you, for..these…days.