Favorite Chapter Hands Down

It is not at all surprising to me that there is one chapter in Your Daughter Needs a Hero that has been everyone’s, hands down, favorite: the chapter written by daughters.

The title of the chapter is called “From the Mouths of Your Daughters” and here are a couple of my favorite excerpts.

Question: What do you wish your parents knew about you, but you were always afraid to tell them?

Elizabeth shares: “I wish my parents actually knew how self-conscious I really was throughout middle school and most of high school.  There were many times I would say to my mom, ‘Does this make me look fat?’  But I never really showed how much my body image meant to me and how it affected my whole life until later in high school.”

Question:  Is there anything that your parents let you do that you wish they didn’t?

Amy shares: “Diet at age 15.”

Laine shares: “…My parents did let me have sleepovers with one of my boyfriends every weekend.  He was older and lived an hour away, so it was just easier if we stayed with each other on the weekends.  My parents thought it was reasonable when I brought up the idea, and I wish they hadn’t.”

Question:  Is there anything your parents did that negatively impacted your body image?

Gabby shares: “In fifth grade, I told my mother that I thought my butt was too big even though it really wasn’t.  I wasn’t going to, but somehow, the subject was brought up and I decided maybe I could trust her, so I told her.  What I needed to hear was, ‘No honey.  Your butt is fine.  I think you look beautiful.’  What she told me was, ‘Well, all of the women in our family have that problem.  It’s just genetic.'”

Question:  What are some ways you believe parents can have a positive impact on a girl’s body image?

Amy shares:  “My dad was always sure to delight in me when I dressed up.  He is good at noticing the small things.  The issue of body image is very rarely about the physical body.  Insecurity about the body is often rooted in a misconception of who she is.  Spend time on this rather than on tangible eating habits, dress sizes, and the like.  Your daughter one, needs to feel safe; two, needs to feel love; and three, needs to know how beautiful she is as is.”

Amen ladies.  Aren’t they so wise?  These young women ranged in age from 13 to 23 and they pack a hard punch don’t they?  Which one of their answers did you resonate with the most?

One thought on “Favorite Chapter Hands Down

  1. Morning Maria, I feel as though you are here with me and we have had a wonderful time sharing as I catch up on your unread blogs since my surgery in June. As I read through each one and hear your innermost thoughts, my heart just bursts and I feel as though our roles are reversed and I am the young girl and you are the wise woman who counsels me. I was especially touched by the July 9 blog, “Hairy Arms”. All of my youth was spent fending off remarks about the hair on my arms and my mustache. Still to this day, I spend time each evening plucking hairs and have asked my girls (your Mom and Aunt Kathy) to carry a tweezer in their pocket for when I am laid out so they can make sure that not one single hair on my face shows. How ridiculous is this – I will be standing before God and worrying about how my earthly body looks????
    So thank you Darling, for your wonderful insights which have helped this old grandma feel better about herself. A song we sing in Folk Group resonates in my ears,
    “Great is your faithfulness O God of Jacob; you use the weak to lead the strong. You lead us in the song of heaven’s victory, and all your people sing along. So remember your people, remember your children, remember your promise, O God. FOR YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH, YEAH, YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH, YEAH, YOUR GRACE IS ENOUGH FOR ME.” God bless you Maria and have a GREAT day. Love you, Gram

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