In a world full of “good girls” I never considered myself one of them. Why? Well, because I did a lot of dumb things growing up. If I had the option to make a bad decision or take ridicule…I opted for the bad decision. I chose immediate and attention grabbing fillers instead of the long lasting strength that comes from taking the road less traveled.
But, even then, I was still on a quest for good. Feeling good. Looking good. In all of this there is such trickery taking place! The mind of a young woman is a powerful, yet many times, contradictory place. I never felt good about myself, never really liked what I saw either. So what did I do? I did bad. Isn’t that so funny? On my quest for good I found bad.
Then comes the beauty of God’s grace. There are many practical and tangible ways for us to seek worth and Godly security in this life, yet none compare with the power of coming undone through God’s grace.
A beautiful friend of mine, Emily Freeman, wrote a book called Grace for the Good Girl. I have loved Emily from the very first time I met her, but her book? I never thought it was for me simply because it had “good girl” in the title. Clearly I am no “good girl.” But I got the pleasure of spending time with her this weekend, and our chats opened up my eyes to how God defines good. You see good and bad are both equal in God’s eyes because all the power is with us. We can label ourselves, our actions, our bodies with either good or bad but both will come up void. I wish my “young woman” mind had known that.
There was, and never will be, anything I can DO to be BAD or GOOD. No matter my waist size, pants size, or nose size I will always be left wanting more good. Then, as a result, I will be more bad to get there (eating disorders, diet pills, obsessive excercise, self abuse). This cycle will never end in me UNTIL my emphasis goes to grace.
I am so thankful to Emily, her book, and her blog for reminding me where true healing comes from. 2 Corinthians 12:9 has never rung more true: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.'”
In this my, weaknesses are my crowning glory. The very gifts in my life that have left me needing HIM with all my might and thus seeking to find HIM around every corner. Today may your weaknesses remind you of how much God loves you.