The Beauty and Disaster in Saying NO

This is Rachel.  First off I have to give you her quote about this picture, “I will embrace my morning wake up look only for you and the future of all daughters!”  Eh, who says you can’t be beautiful in the morning?  Is she not the epitome of cuteness?

Anyway, we had a chat this  morning about saying and hearing “no” to something you want.  As teens you naturally HATE when your parents tell you “no.”  Your world teeters on the edge of complete destruction and you think your parents are out to make life completely miserable.

We went back and forth sharing stories about times our parents did, or didn’t, say no.  The conclusion was this: in looking back we appreciated the times they did say no and confess that there are times we wish they had.

Relationships come back around.  My Mom always half jokingly tells parents of teenagers, “Don’t worry, they will be your friend again by about the age of 20…just hold on!”  Its true, somewhere in your 20’s the neurons in your brain in charge of “reason” and “self control” actually develop and the emotional charge of adolescence begins to die down.  Mom and Dad will always be there.  What WON’T come around is all the choices you made, or didn’t make, in your youth.  You pay for those for a life time.

Yes, there is always healing, growth, forgiveness, and lessons learned from all those youthful mistakes…but some of them hold longer term consequences that you wish you could take back.  Therein lies the power of “no.”

Rachel said as a teen all she wanted one time was to go to Six Flags with her friends.  “Like, come on Mom and Dad seriously??  All I want to do is go to Six Flags and like ride the rides!”  We will put aside for a second the fact that apparently lines at amusement parks have become the prime spot for make out sessions…we will ignore that for the moment.  Rachel’s parent’s did not feel it was a safe place for her to go alone.  Their love for her and their desire to protect her trumped the massive teenage temper tantrum they received on a revolving basis for the days following the “no.”

To this I would like to say thank you.  Thank you to parents who protect us from ourselves when we need it the most.  Thank you for receiving our hatred, our screams, our fits, our yells because you know what is best for us.  The reminder is good to hear every now and again…don’t be afraid to say “no” to the people you love the most.  Someday they will thank you, I promise.

2 thoughts on “The Beauty and Disaster in Saying NO

  1. yes-Rachel IS the epitome of cuteness… and i can most certainly attest to the incredible parenting skills of her parents. I watched them raise those kids and have always admired them for all their hard work. what amazing adults my little cousins have become. i love you Rachel!!!!! love La

    1. Lauren thank you so much for affirming and encouraging Rachel! It does my heart so good to see Rachel so confident and secure in the woman that she is. Gives me hope for my daughter!

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